She's JV to your varsity
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i think my cat just said my name.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
