Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
foreskin is a definite game changer
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize