She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
