she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
