she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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