Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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