11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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