speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
