the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
