I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
