so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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