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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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