what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
