i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
