the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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