I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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