sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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