is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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