Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
