No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize