I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
