She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
