Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
