Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize