he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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