Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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