I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
