I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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