YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Randomize
