Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
