Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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