I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
