ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
