so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
MIDGETS
????
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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