just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
