my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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