apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
