In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize