Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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