who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
