Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
