what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize