Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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