Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
