So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
