? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
