oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I love you. Go after that dick
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
