Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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