I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
