I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Less talking, more tequila
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
