I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
