what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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