Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
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