You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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