Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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