I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
